It's a dog park, not a singles bar!

Lets face it. I love my dog, Mitch. He is my hobby, my happiness and well, as sad as it may seem, my child. So when beautiful weather comes around, it means one thing- the Bark Park. The Bark Park is a local dog park that is fenced in and leads out into a penninsula surrounded by a river. Nothing makes any dog more excited than going to the dog park, being unleashed and free to socialize with other dogs, swim, and pee everywhere. Its a funny thing to see what happiness truly looks like on a dog when they are humping another dog at the Bark Park, but everyone lets it slide because, its the dog park- Disneyland for canines.

But there is a catch about the freedom of the Bark Park. Men, and probably a few women, use this social situation to find someone to date. We all know the golden truth that two things can make ANY man irresistable... babies and dogs. So you can imagine the single men that appear there. They usually have one dog, a bigger breed like a lab, retriever or rott. They appear to be laid back, athletic and care-free, but you still notice that gleam in their eyes saying "Yup, thats my dog and yup, I'm available". And if you know Mitch, he is the friendliest, most playful dog in the park so when our dogs meet and play, its time for the approach. Thats right, nobody is a better wing man than man's best friend!!

It usually starts with a line like "Have I seen you here before?" or "Cute dog, what's his name?" and unlike a bar, you can't simply roll your eyes and walk away or pretend the music is too loud to hear, you have to answer to avoid any awkwardness around you. Then after the 'Get to Know My Dog' exchange, it turns into 'Get to Know You so Then I Can get in Your Pants" routine.

Thus it seems you can't get away...you start to move on to follow your dog and they follow you, striking up any thing to talk about (i.e. weather, other dog activities, or 'do you know my friend so and so?'). I am trapped. He even tries to play the "Wow, your dog really likes me!" and I so badly want to yell "Actually he likes anyone who gives him attention!"

I round up Mitch and put his leash on, signaling the closing of the Bark Park exchange. But, he goes ahead to do the same thing to his dog, which means, we are leaving together. The worse part is when he insists on walking me to my car, or acting like we are parked in the same area, which usually is never the case. Then as I put my dog into the car, he resorts to the last attempt, that shaves away all his self-dignity, which usually sounds like the following:

"So since our dogs like eachother, we should take them on a hike sometime" (yeah buddy, we will meet again just for our dogs enjoyment)

OR

"So what are you doing know? We should get a drink or something..." (Really, you mean you were just on your way to a bar? How about you keep the drink and give me the money?)

AND MY FAVORITE, BECAUSE I ADMIRE A MAN WHO GETS TO THE POINT:

"Can I have your number?" (This way I can give it to him straight...'No, I have a boyfriend', or better yet, 'Genital Herpes'...that way there is no getting around it)

Then me, and the one my heart truly belongs to, go home together...

BTW- I don't really have genital herpes or any form of sexually transmitted disease. :)

Swimsuit Contest: FIN!

Yesterday marked the closing of another chapter in the universe that is Hooters, the local swimsuit contest. I have been working very hard on my body since the new year, its not that I thought I had weight to lose but I had some areas to tone and strengthen. I joined a bootcamp, hit the cardio machines a couple more times a week and 6 weeks ago, I modified my diet to kick start my metabolism. The work paid off, I can proudly say that I got up in front of over a hundred people and rocked it, strutted my stuff, and saw so many awesome people there who supported me. It was really fun, even back stage with all my favorite girls.

I didn't win, but thats okay. I have a lot going for me in my life, I don't want to be a model and I don't think of Hooters as my life. I mostly did it to motivate me to get in shape, something to look forward to and have fun. I am in the best shape I have ever been in my life an it feels amazing. I look in the mirror and I am proud to see what reflects, I am confident.

P.S. In the picture above, it should be noted that the tanner that is on my face and body is for competition only and is NOT an actual tan, it washes off. A lot of people who see the pics are like "OMG that tan is insane"....no, it is very fake ;)

Luck

On April 3rd, 2010 at 9:25 AM, my ringing phone woke me up. I, half way still asleep, answered the call from the caller listed as 'unknown' on my cell phone's screen.

"Hello?" I murmured.

"Hi, is this Amber?" a chipper woman on the other end asks.

"Yes..." I reply.

"This is Renee from the Hamilton Police 911 Emergency Center, I am calling to inform you someone reported finding your purse. A man found it in a river in Hamilton while he was fly fishing and wants to return it to you."

I immediately woke up...a week ago, my purse was stolen from my car.

She continued to give me the man's contact information and long story short- I GOT MY PURSE BACK! It was sopping wet and dirty. Obviously rummaged through, the contents that were once organized in my wallet where strewn about at the bottom of my purse. The hard earned cash was taken (of course) but my cards, phone, lip gloss etc. were left for a watery fate. While I have no more use for the canceled bank cards, dirty lip gloss, and destroyed cell phone, I feel like I received some closure. I was hurt and upset someone did this to me, but now I feel like this is a sign from God that it is time to move on...with a new purse of course.